Pint Pleasures: Three pubs on the Isle of Oxney / The Humanity of Beer

Previous Pint Pleasures - October 1, 2001

The Crown, Stone-in-Oxney, Kent

The Swan Inn, 1 Swan Street, Wittersham, Kent

The Black Lion, The Street, Appledore, Kent

On a recent weekend my partner and I spent the night with friends who live on the windy Romney Marsh coastline. The town of Greatstone, once a landing point for smugglers' boats, is today a quiet seaside resort just down the coast from Littlestone. I've often wondered about these names: is Greatstone greater than Littlestone? Or are the stones on the beach bigger than the stones on the beach at Littlestone? If so, why didn't they name them Bigstone and Littlestone? Or why not Greaterstone and Lesserstone? At the end of the day who has the authority to pass this sort of judgement? Do the residents of Greatstone look down their noses at the residents of Littlestone? Or do they consider them to be their petite and therefore cute neighbours?

According to historian Ann Roper, author of The Gift of the Sea -- Romney Marsh, Greatstone was in fact named for its larger pebbles and Littlestone for its smaller pebbles. But I didn't intend to write about Greatstone because we didn't stay there long. Since Greatstone resident Shirley prefers coffee to beer and loves to drive, she offered to take the three of us real ale lovers on a Sunday afternoon Marsh pub crawl. It was a lovely crisp afternoon and the views along the way from Greatstone to the Isle of Oxney on the western side of Romney Marsh were spectacular. After a brief stop at the Red Lion in Snargate (see PUB UPDATES below), we moved on to the Crown in Stone-in-Oxney. Located in the Isle of Oxney, which was an island back when the Marsh was filled with water, the village of Stone-in-Oxney does in fact have a stone, which dates from Roman times and is preserved in the 15th-century church. Whether this is a particularly great stone or a little stone I didn't have the chance to establish, as we were thirsty and badly in need of pints.

Sadly the Crown is a bit run-down these days. Aside from a nice view from the windows of a Saxon walk, the place seemed a bit lacking in character and warmth. On this particular day it was overrun with noisy children, and there were only two real ales on. Since none of us felt like Master Brew, Andrew and I had pints of Forge Bitter (3.2% ABV, Old Forge Brewery, Hastings, East Sussex). For a weak beer this wasn't bad at all, but it was weaker than we normally like -- and far too weak for Keith, who opted for a Hoegaarden instead.

Our next stop was in the village of Wittersham, the "capital" of the Isle of Oxney which boasts not only a restored windmill but the popular Swan. This pub offers a wide choice of real ales on gravity, and the food is reportedly excellent. The three of us had pints of Spark Arrester (4.8% ABV, Humpty Dumpty Brewery, Reedham, Norfolk). This is a dark, straight Redwood beer, suggestive of the scent of redwood and reminiscent of my childhood home which was surrounded by redwood fences and decorated with redwood patio furniture. Ah, yes, this beer brought to mind Pokey, our family's Bassett hound who had a taste for our redwood gates: he actually devoured several chunks of them. I suppose redwood is good for the teeth and gums if you're a dog... Anyway, a good strong redwood beer like Spark Arrester seemed an excellent choice for healing and supporting Keith's injured Achilles tendon.

Our final stop was the Black Lion in Appledore. In addition to being where our friend Karen's mum lives, Appledore has an interesting history. Once a port on the Rother Estuary, Appledore was the point at which 250 Danish longships invaded England. In 1380 French ships stopped at Appledore and set fire to the church and village. Today the main industry of Appledore is the relatively peaceful activity of farming, although the Royal Military Canal still runs through the village from Iden Lock to Hythe just in case a new Napoleonic invasion threatens.

The Black Lion is more a restaurant than a pub; the food menu is impressively extensive. On this late Sunday afternoon the place was very crowded with diners waiting for tables, the four of us just managing to pinch the last table in the bar. Our pints of Black Sheep Bitter (3.8% ABV, Black Sheep Brewery, Ripon, North Yorkshire) were pleasant enough; but our kind driver had to wait forever to get her tea! After several requests -- by which time our pints were almost finished -- the tea finally arrived. How difficult can it be for a pub to brew a pot of tea for the designated driver of real ale fans? Forget about stone dimensions -- this was the burning question of the day.

Little did we realize on this Martian pub crawl that two days later the terrorist attacks in the United States would occur and life and the world would change. But amidst the shock, horror, and grief it's important that we carry on with Life, Liberty, and the appreciation of our Humanity. And enjoying pubs and drinking fine ale with friends is part of this.

PUB UPDATES:

BIGGLES BAR, LYDD AIRPORT: Not exactly a watering hole you'd seek out -- but since three of us were attending the Open House Day at Lydd Airport, we were quite happy to have a bar of any kind on hand. And our pints of Old Speckled Hen (5.2% ABV, Morland PLC, Abingdon, Oxfordshire) were good, welcome pints -- even when served in plastic glasses -- and mighty strong as well, as Dave can attest.
GATE INN, HYTHE: Recently we had Dark Island (4.6% ABV, Orkney Brewery Ltd, near Alyth, Perthshire), which was dark and porterlike with a growingly pleasant bitter taste -- rich but not too rich, bitter but not too bitter, opaque but utterly drinkable. Also recently on hand was my current favourite, Barnsley Bitter (3.8% ABV, Barnsley Brewing Co Ltd, Barnsley, South Yorkshire), in a rare Southern appearance. Will Ginger Tom be next...?
CHEQUERS ARMS, BATTLE: Our lunchtime pints of London Pride (4.1% ABV, Fuller, Smith, and Turner, London) were excellent. The pub was packed and the landlord was busy handing out free packets of Jonathan Crisp salt and vinegar crisps to each customer. Since I'd just had lunch I chose to save mine for later and instead admired the intact crisps dressed neatly in their starched shirt and tie packets. There is definitely a very good feel to this pub: it's intensely welcoming, friendly, and comfortable.
RED LION, SNARGATE: When we stopped in briefly on a sunny but surprisingly windy and cold day for early September, a private function packed the place. The Crowd, sporting Brenzett Aeronautical Museum badges, were literally spilling out the doors into the car park. The four of us sought solace from the chill wind in the comfort of the garden, where landlady Doris Jemison's chickens were out in full force. Our pints of Haymaker (5% ABV, Hook Norton Brewery, Banbury, Oxfordshire) were pleasantly tart and warming, and I think the chickens sensed this. Chickens do care, you know...on our next visit we had pints of Dominator (5.1% ABV, Hop Daemon Brewery, Canterbury, Kent). This is a dark brown beer and sounds like it'd be malty, but it has a nice roasty bitterness. There's a hint of...mmm, is it chicory? No, definitely licorice. This is a perfect pint for contemplating the enigma of why the sun always shines on the Red Lion in Snargate. Does Doris have her own microclimate?
ROYAL OAK, CAPEL-LE-FERNE: Tasted on two occasions recently, Wessex Gold (4.8% ABV, Cottage Brewing Co. Ltd., Castle Cary, Somerset) is a truly delightful pint. It's light in colour with a nice bitterness and pleasing roundness. What else can I say? It's simple enough.
COMPASSES INN, CRUNDALE: On a recent Saturday my mother, my partner, and I successfully located this hard-to-find pub. As we drove into the car park there was one empty space near the front. As it was being guarded by an ancient cat who wouldn't budge a whisker -- and who was obviously older in cat-years than my elderly mother -- we ended up parking in the remote outback of the car park. Since the pub was packed and the back garden was littered with hyperactive children, we momentarily sought refuge in the restaurant. After several minutes spent trying to get the attention of the cretinous waitstaff we managed to find a table in the front bar, which proved to be an excellent decision. John the landlord was very helpful and cheerful, singing and joking as he served us our much-needed pints of London Pride (4.1% ABV, Fuller, Smith, and Turner, London) -- and he apologised over the PA about the unusually slow food service that day. As the three of us enjoyed our excellent sandwiches we watched a horse and rider taking a break in the front garden as an elderly man with a bushy moustache and a CALIFORNIA sweatshirt sat at the window puffing on his Meerschaum. And we heartily laughed at the jokes emanating from the bar about kids on spits and baby tikka -- obviously a warning to not bring your loud, bratty kids to the Compasses.